Endless Night v3.0

For the past few years, I generally have been driving for the holidays to avoid the madness that is the modern airport. Driving, although more labor intensive, seems a lot more “free” if you will. It avoids the temporary violation that is baggage check, you can take all the liquids you like, and furthermore, you can leave whenever you want. To get home for the holidays, I traveled this path:

Day 1:
NYC -> DC …flight was cancelled going to chicago from DC, spent a full day and night in DC.
Day 2:
DC -> Chicago …flight was cancelled 4 times, delayed at least 7.
Chicago -> Cedar Rapids.

In the course of that, I also caught a cold in my hotel room. Shaved a whole two days off of my vacation, and cost me 100 bucks to stay in a hotel room. Not a good start to the longest time I’ve had all year to rest.

Generally, I will drive from NYC to Iowa, without incident. I rather enjoy the time I spend driving, as I get to listen to lots of music, call friends, etc. In the airport, you are trapped, confined under very strict ordinances and regulations via the FAA. Driving, in comparison, is like, totally freedom, man. Call me nuts, but i’d rather drive 17 straight hours than sit in an airport. I’d almost compare it to getting on a motorcycle and hitting the road at this point, it feels so much more spontaneous.

Christmas (and surrounding days) were quite wonderful, spent quality time with the fam, and did some much needed sleeping.

And now, trying to head back, I am back at the airport….my first flight has been delayed for “technical difficulties” and we’re awaiting “contractors” to fix some things. Ugh. Lets see where this goes….

Even if you’re not in school, the spiritual ending of summer has always been when you start school back up. But I’ll tell you, being an adult, the summer isn’t nearly as awesome. I think it gets less awesome too. Maybe that’s just global warming or something. Regardless, its never as exciting as having 3 months off to do absolutely whatever the hell you want. Those days, my friends, were blessings you didn’t realize were blessings.

This summer has been a tough one, filled with many hardships, heartbreaks, and just as many victories, but I can’t help but feel a little nostalgic for the times when I could just take a drive and listen to music and enjoy a cool evening, without all of the things that weigh heavy on me now. The pressures of running my own business, balancing my personal life with the ever quickening pace of my professional life, and the flood of creativity I try to harness from myself gets rather maddening, and sometimes its just best to stop everything and breathe. Not that I’m very good at that, but I’m trying.

There are so many wonderful things and people in my life right now I’d hate to sound like I’m complaining, because I’m certainly not. But everything good or bad can eventually overwhelm your senses and mind. Right now I’m on overload, giving all I’ve got to everything I have, hoping that it all matters to someone. I know everything works out in the end but when it isn’t worked out yet, there is a lot to think about. Off to the slumber now.

I had avoided looking at any photographs of Iowa until recently. I have heard and somewhat read that it was bad, but I hadn’t dug into it deep yet. My parents are safe, as are a friend or two…but that is all I know so far. The first image I saw of any of this flooding was the beloved Paramount Theatre in downtown Cedar Rapids with water covering its front doors. I sang my very first professional performances at this beautiful hall, and it really just hit home how terribly hammered my beloved Iowa was getting. My parents are thankfully safe, but are surrounded by flooding within miles at every side it seems. There are many many friends I haven’t spoken to that may or may not be safe, or even homeless. I can only say that my thoughts are with all of you who are dealing with this at this point. I don’t know what its going to take to get people to understand just exactly what is going on, but I can assure you that much will be destroyed before people finally wise up to the reasons for the ramping of natural disasters on this planet.

One can feel free to get into namecalling and what have you, but if you don’t have a refreshed perspective on what the effects of our modern existence are on this planet and our lives, then you either 1. dont’ care, or 2. haven’t truly educated yourself on the subject. I will not get into debate on this blog as there are much more pertinent public forums in which this would have much more of an impact. HOWEVER, I implore you to please watch this video and tell me that you feel the same way afterwards. Our way of life in this day in age, especially in america, was truly designed and conceived before we knew of the repercussions of the longterm usage of certain materials. Many of these “theories” have been snubbed by conservatives for years, but are currently impossible to deny. It is time to seriously consider your own personal impact on this planet and assess what you can do to reduce the harm you do on it. You can take that wherever you feel you must, but as a modern citizen of this planet, you very much need to consider it. All of our futures, short and long term, depend on it.

http://www.vbs.tv/video.php?id=1485308505

Again, my best wishes to those in Iowa. I’ll be there in July, and will no doubt see the effects of the flood. Feel free to drop a line and let me know about your situation, good or bad.

You know, its kind of crazy to think about how much of an influence music can be on your entire life many years after the fact….but every time I think back on that fated day in 1991 when I asked my dad if it was ok that I bought a tape with a naked baby in a swimming pool swimming after a dollar and wonder just why that happened. Its not that I had even heard the band yet. I’m not even sure what I had read or heard at that point that made me want it. I was freakin 10 years old, mind you. I had begun to delve into rock at that point, but nothing could have prepared my young ears for the onslaught of that Nevermind cassette. I bought it shortly before taking a family vacation to Florida, and to this day, that album makes me feel like I’m in Florida driving around in a rental car, looking out the window while we drive from one tourist trap to the next. It was a very happy trip, in fact, it was one of my favourite family vacations. It was my first time at the ocean, and it began a lifelong love of the ocean and the beach. But what that trip really did was introduce me to the power of putting on some earbuds and diving into REALLY loud rock. I likely lost some hearing on that trip, as the volume never went below ten and likely never really shut off unless we stopped at a tourist attraction. But holy shit was I hooked. I couldn’t even sit still I was so energized….the seed had been planted for the total obsession for music that has encompassed my entire life since. And although I’m not sure if it was Nirvana that was the reason I started doing what I do now, it certainly was the first thing I ever listened to that ever made me feel the way rock is supposed to make you feel: energized, confused, angry, happy, and crazy all at once. Even at 10 years old I understood what that meant. And ever since then, I’m always looking for music that makes me feel that way. For the first half of the ’90’s, it happened a lot! Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Metallica, Guns N’ Roses, etc etc….it was just mesmerizing when you found that new nugget of music that got to bring you a new feeling in your life. Its like meeting a new person at a party that you know is going to become one of your best friends. It makes you excited and happy to be alive, to have been there in that moment.

Speaking of people at parties, I had a great conversation at a birthday party tonight with a new friend, discussing the state of music, and how we were born in the wrong era. I told her while I longed to be a part of the ’60’s and ’70’s when things were great in the music industry, that I felt like the time we live in now has more potential than art and music have ever had, but the missing links hadn’t been figured out yet. I think one of the biggest missing links is that when music was great, there were some great people who wanted to bring great talents to light. People like Ahmet Ertegun and John Hammond, who were instrumental in creating careers with monumental talents, were one of the most important reasons such great artists came to light. Those people don’t exist today in that capacity yet. I think those people will come to light again, as they are more important than ever. An artist needs a guide and a protector of their talent in order to truly be great.

Ah, its always such an ass backwards feeling after leaving and coming back from home. And being from Iowa, the feeling is drastic both ways there and back. Right now, I just got back last night and I’m trying to get back into my New York Groove for a show tonight @ Snitch, but I’m still feeling a tad midwesterny. Luckily I’ve got enough leftovers to feed that feeling for at least two weeks!

I took it real easy this time when I was home, I didn’t really leave the house for a few days save to eat at my parent’s Cafe and spend black friday at wal-mart getting tires changed. Believe me, that is NOT what i wanted to be doing on friday, but shit happens and sometimes you have no choice. I also had 4 computers with me which needed love and a few mixes which needed working on. I always end up makeshifting some sort of studio when I’m home, otherwise I’d just sleep all day!

Well, duty calls. Time to get the 17,000 things I have to do done before we rock tonight with our friends The Dirty Pearls. This is our last gig before the new year, as December will have me sleeping about 2 hours a night so we can finish up a couple of records. Rock!

Its rather glorious to be doing the same work I would be doing at the studio in my van on the way to see my parents. I’ve been taking a ride with my friend Tom from Main Drag Music (and his lovely lady) back home to Iowa, listening to ALLLL sorts of music, having a cracked out drive half across this country. The car is packed full of computers, guitars, stuffs of various kinds, and a few t-shirts and pairs of pants. Looking forward to a few days of hard work away from the studio, in the comfort of my parents home, along with the comfort of their home cooking and company.

A BIG thank you to all of those who came out to the Mike B CD release party/Winkel’s birthday party, it was a wonderful evening of very talented people. More soon, gotta start driving again.

So i’m going to write a book. Figure 7 years in new york is worth at least a book. Gonna do it on a typewriter. Need to find a ribbon. Already have the typewriter. Would you read it?

Get back to me on that. I’m gonna find a ribbon.

p.s. i love this